Bad Ass Alaska Hot Springs Adventure

Next week, I’m going to Alaska.

 I’m going to see ice sculptures like this:

 

 and soak in these exact hot springs:

and hopefully see the sky do this (it’s the best time of year for it):

This is a 30th birthday adventure for a whole bunch of my college friends (7 of us). The ever lovely Patti Ventura put the plan into action. I suspect I will be forever grateful.

I’m also extremely grateful to the Minnesotans who sent me winter wear that will keep me from perishing in a hostile climate. 

Star Wars According to a 3 year old

If you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do.

I don’t even know what to do with you Brussels Sprout people.  Has a vegetable ever been so defended?  Isn’t there another cause out there more worthy of  promulgation? 

I mean, I like the little guys ok, but even roasted I find them lacking in…….vitality. They have neither the friendly verve of the roasted beet, nor the amiable sweetness of the roasted carrot. They are bitter little cabbages, even after being given 40 minutes in a hot oven to think about the meaning of life. Yeah, I said it.

Now, Cristian. Cristian is a Brussels Sprout person. Sometimes, even before this local eating endeavor,  I bought us Brussels Sprouts for dinner, because I am a loving and selfless person who also knows how to set things up so I don’t have to do the dishes. On Brussels Sprouts nights, Cristian all but rolls on the dining room floor with anticipation and excitement. So don’t think I haven’t been proselytized when it comes to Brussels Sprouts.  I have heard it all.

So. Much. Cheese.

We are still eating solely local foods.

 A few notes on that topic:

• We are eating a LOT of dairy. Somehow cheese, the anti-carb, has taken the place of grain in our diet.  The thing is,  we aren’t eating pasta, rice, etc right now – we’re eating root vegetables, along with brussel sprouts, broccoli and cauliflower. These vegetables are ok on their own, but really, they TASTE A LOT BETTER WITH CHEESE. Either that, or butter. Or both.
• Also: local cheese is delicious.
• I am sick of doing the dishes. Sick unto death of doing the dishes.
• Everything we’re eating does taste better – fresher, more flavorful, just like all those eat local boosters said it would.
• People at the farmer’s market this time of year are COMPETITIVE.  You want beets? Better get to the market before 9 am. Because all the other local eaters are going to be there, and they don’t want to get stuck eating kale all week any more than you do.
• This would be ridiculously easy to do in California.  Every week Cristian and I go to the fancy gourmet grocery store around the corner from our house, because their produce is all clearly labeled as to where it came from, and 90% of everything is from California. *shakes fist at lucky Californians who aren’t eating brussel sprouts 4 times a week*
• It costs more to eat this way. I have a lot of friends who would argue me to the death on this one – that if you eat vegan, whole foods, just produce and grains, it would be cheaper.  They’re wrong. Everything costs more. Which is totally ok. Cristian does start clawing at his neck at bit, remembering his cold can of bean days, when we’re paying $4.00 a pound for tomatoes, say, or $1.50 for 5 garlic cloves, but  it just costs more, and that’s all there is to it. It’s scary to think that most people on the planet couldn’t afford to eat if it wasn’t for the unsustainable excesses of agribusiness.

In retrospect, I may have overreacted

Scene: A dark bedroom. A clock on the bedstand reads 3:30 am. Two people lay insensate beneath a cozy duvet. A cat sleeps at the foot of the bed. All is quiet.

From stage left, a dog bays: BAROOOOOOOOOOOO! BAROOOOOOOOOOOOO! BAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

Dana: sits bolt upright, eyes wide: Oh my God, was that FLUPPY?

Cristian: uhhhhhhhh

Dana: Cristian OH MY GOD did you just hear that?!

Cristian: ughhhhhh……

Dana: Fluppy! Fluppy! Come here, girl! Cristian, do you think she’s ok? I’ve never heard her make a noise even anything close to that.

Cristian: pulls pillow over head She bayed in her sleep.

Dana: But she’s never done that before. Maybe she’s hurt. Maybe she was chasing the cat! Fluppy! Come!

Cristian: The cat’s right here.

Said cat has wound herself around Cristian’s head.

Fluppy pads into the room, looking confused.

Dana: pets dog vigorously Fluppy, what happened? Are you ok?  Cristian, I’m going to turn the light on for a second, just to make sure she’s not hurt.

Cristian: Ohhhhh, it was just a dream. She’s fine. TURN OFF THE LIGHT.

Dana: Well, then, why isn’t she wagging her tail? I’m petting her and she’s NOT EVEN wagging her tail, that’s just not normal.

Cristian: pulls pillow futher over his head, mutters something inaudible

Dana: What? What did you just say?

Cristian: I said, I can’t believe I’m having a conversation about why Fluppy isn’t wagging her tail. It’s 3 in the morning.

Dana: She’s still not wagging her tail. Fluppy, do you want a treat? See, look at that, she’s not even wagging her tail when I talk about treats. Something is up.

Cristian: Maybe she’s TIRED.

Dana: It’s almost as if you don’t want to talk about this right now.

Cristian: It’s exactly like that. It’s just exactly like that.

Dana: I don’t think I can just fall back asleep without knowing what happened. I’m all keyed up.

Cristian: ………………………..

Dana: I mean, don’t you want to know why Fluppy is baying like the Hound of the Baskervilles? Doesn’t that seem strange to you?

Cristian:……………………………..

Dana: Ok, I’m going to go give Fluppy a treat and see if she’ll wag her tail then.

Cristian:…………………………………………..

Dana gets up, exits stage left with the dog.

A minute passes

Dana reenters stage left 

Dana: Good news. She wagged her tail a little bit when I gave her a treat. Not like normal, but I think she’s just tired and confused. I think she’ll be fine.

Cristian: Great. Great news.

Dana: getting back into bed But can you believe what a crazy noise that was? It sounded like a Hell Hound.

Cristian: mmmmmmmm

Dana: snuggling down under the covers And she’s never made a noise like that before…..

Cristian: Shhhhhhhhh

Stage right: The neighbor’s rooster begins to crow. Loudly.

When Arrows Don’t Penetrate, Cupid Grabs A Pistol

 Allan K. Chalmers:

The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

Lentacular

Eating locally has been going pretty damn well. Not the easiest thing to do, but not as hard as I feared either.

There are a ton of winter vegetables in season at the farmer’s market - broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, different types of greens, beets and sweet potatoes. Thanks to greenhouses, tomatoes haven’t been hard to come by, and citrus from South Texas is in season too.  Hooray for grapefruit! We treated ourselves to a bunch of different meats and cheeses at the Farmer’s Market we’d normally pass up because of the price. Planned dinners this week include BLTs with a side of roasted cauliflower, stew with locally baked bread (we have NOT been able to find any bread made with wheat grown in Texas yet) and sausage with mustard potatoes and sauerkraut.

 The pressure we’ve put on ourselves to focus so closely on what we’re eating has paid off in some really good meals, and treats like fresh-squeezed orange juice - I would never in a million years bother to make fresh orange juice if it wasn’t the only way I could get it right now.

You know, a terrorist. Or whoever.

“It doesn’t really do any damage to you,” said David. “For them, it would be a way to stop a terrorist or whoever from advancing.”

-From an article on a new “blinding light” the Department of Homeland Security has spent $1 million developing over the past year. 

EnviroLent

So. Here are the rules we’ve come up with for our Eating Local Lenten Adventure:

1) If it was grown in Texas, we can eat it.  Milk, cheese, butter and eggs from local cows, goats and chickens are fair game.

2) If it’s already in our fridge or cupboard, we can eat it. We’re not doing this to waste food.

3) We are making an exception for bread, assuming that we can’t find bread made from wheat grown in Texas.  Cristian got a little panicky about no starches for 40 days and nights. I’m curious to see if we can actually find locally grown and baked bread. Google hasn’t coughed an easy answer up yet, but maybe the fine people at the Farmer’s Market will be able to fill us in.

4) We’re going to restrict our alcohol consumption to locally produced wines, beers, and liquors. We debated this rule for a while last night, because vineyards will import grapes to help round out their wine selections, I have no idea where local breweries like Shiner get the wheat and hops they use to make their beer, and ditto for where Tito gets the corn he uses to make his vodka. That being said, I know I don’t want to become obsessive and rigid about rule that is self-imposed and temporary. If one or the other of us end up out with friends at a bar, Tito’s is a good enough option.

5)  We are taking a break from March 5 – 14 because I am going to Alaska with a few good friends to celebrate turning 30! I’m ridiculously excited. We’ll tack those 10 days onto the back end of Lent, so we’ll still observe for the full 40 days.

Eat your heart out, Cosette

Cristian and I just became cleaner people, y’all: 

On Saturday, I used towels that were STILL WARM FROM THE DRYER:

My inner teenager is horrified at how happy I am about this.  

 In other news, Cristian and I spontaneously decided on our drive to work this morning that A) we should do something for Lent and B) hey, wouldn’t it be cool to try to eat only local foods? How hard can that be, anyway?  We’re going to try for it, because nothing is more reflective of spirtual maturity than making uninformed, impromptu commitments to ideals one has no real concept of how to live out. Or something.