Nothing I Can Do About it Now

April 4, 2007

Did I ever actually believe that I would learn to play the vibraphone?

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 4:53 pm

Believe it or not, I thought a lot – a lot– about starting a blog before I fired up the laptop and set up my little shop here in wordpresslandia.

What kind of blog would I have?  

Maybe I’ll focus on current political issues ?

That idea fell to the wayside pretty damn fast. Upon even the most cursory examination, anyone will realize that the internet is actually just one huge never-ending argument, with thousands upon thousands of opinionated, fact-checky types lined up at their monitors, ready for the fight of their lives. Kind of like Sauron’s army.  Or any army you might see in a movie. Except 300, where there were only 300.

Maybe I’ll write about…..Austin? Living in Austin? Fun things to do here?

BORING. Also: I am poor.

 Maybe a project blog….I could write about training for a triathlon, or learning how to play the vibraphones?

BORING. Also: I’m not that self-absorbed. By which I mean I have commitment issues and do not want to make any long term promises to the Internet.

Ok, then just a blog about my life? The things that happen?

Aaaaand that is what I settled on.

I was imagining something along the lines of Nancy Mair’s writing, or Moreena’s. Moreena has a really, really great blog. They connect their physical lives to their spiritual lives in a way that I deeply admire.  They have grit and grace, my favorite combination. The one I aspire to.

So. I would write. Gracefully, gently, sweetly. Like Nancy Mairs.

Except instead, I ended up writing a play about my dishrag, my boyfriend, and his itchy balls.

Which is totally awesome, I know, I just didn’t see it coming.

I’ve really been enjoying writing here, and finding my voice. It’s a creaky, rusty feeling – I haven’t written seriously since I was 18, so I find myself slipping into an old voice that doesn’t quite fit anymore. Or into the voices of other writers, whose patter feels comfortable and safe in my mouth. But it feels good. Writing was, literally, my salvation during middle and high school. It was a rope I clung to, it led me to high ground, and I am so glad to be back, writing again. 

And in the meantime, apparently this blog will be dedicated to completely stripping away any vestiges of respect anyone might have ever had for me or Cristian. Because that story? that I wrote yesterday? Cristian gave me permission, with one really big string attached.

I have to tell you all the story of the Sudafed overdose I experienced last Sunday, which was completely my own fault, and, if videotaped, could surely be used in D.A.R.E promotional material for years, years to come.

Stay tuned.

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