Nothing I Can Do About it Now

May 2, 2007

0 for 3

Filed under: life, ridiculous, sharing — dregina @ 12:09 pm

I work for a fairly large organization. The building that houses us is the size of 3 football fields, and if that doesn’t sound big to you, just imagine having to walk it when the bathroom on one end is closed for cleaning.  That’s a long way to hold your wizz.

Anyways. Large. Bureaucratic. I sit in a cubicle, like Dilbert.

There are a few different types of cubicles in the building. After some dynamic whining negotiation on my part, I managed to land myself inside a cubicle normally reserved for Team Leaders. These cubicles are widely regarded as preferable due to their tall, frosted glass “walls” and shower-stall style “doors”.

Because, in the workplace, privacy is a good substitute for dignity. And isn’t that sad?

So. I’m in a cube designed for Team Leaders, and yet I, myself, am not a Team Leader.  This arrangement has caused no end of confusion for our Building Manager (B.M), who has the terrible & Sysiphean job of protecting the building from the rest of us.

You see, the B.M has Important Building Manager Transmissions (I.M.B.T) to deliver.  It is his responsibility to deliver these messages, preferably with gravitas, to each Team Leader, who then must relay the I.B.M.T to their underlings.

Due to my placement, the B.M, without fail, mistakes me for a Team Leader, and shares his I.B.M.Ts with me. This is a grievous waste of his time. To wit:

B.M: I noticed that a cube in this aisle has been decorated with crepe paper.

Me: Oh. Yeah. Maybe it’s someone’s birthday? Or a baby shower. Sometimes they do that for baby showers.

B.M: Well, unfortunately, crepe paper is a violation of the city’s fire code, so it’s going to have to come down.

Me: Really? Crepe paper?

B.M: Yes.

Me: Jeez, that’s a shame.

Turns back to computer, realizes B.M is still standing behind me

Oooooooohhh, you think I’m that person’s supervisor. I’m not a supervisor. Sorry. 

B.M: Do you know who that person’s supervisor would happen to be?

Me: It’s Lisa. She’s out for the week.

Long pause. Loooong pause. B.M eventually goes and takes down the crepe paper himself, which is a strange, sad sight.

B.M: We’re expecting some serious storms later this afternoon. This is a good opportunity for us to remind all our staff that, during severe weather, staff should go to the offices located at the center of the building, away from the windows.

Me: Yikes! I think I left my car windows down! I better go check.

B.M: I just wanted to stop by and let you know the carpets have been cleaned, so we’ll be enforcing the Lid Rule rigorously from this point forward.  All beverages in the building must have a lid on them. No exceptions.

Me:  (Willing the uncovered coffee mug, glass of water, and bowl of soup on my desk to magically disappear) Oh. Yes. Of course. Ok. Lids. Naturally. Got it.


1 Comment »

  1. I do hope you appreciate the excellence of these exchanges. How wonderful it must be to thwart The Man so effortlessly, all the while appearing innocent…though of course we know better than that.

    Comment by mmalan — May 3, 2007 @ 8:50 am

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