Nothing I Can Do About it Now

January 30, 2008

Free Advice For The Shameless

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 3:39 pm

You know what makes cleaning the house a lot more fun? Singing Castle on a Cloud as you go.


January 29, 2008

Cat Piss & Congestion!

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 1:19 pm

So last Tuesday I came home from work feeling, oh, a little run down. I lay down on the couch under my favorite plaid blanket and woke up DEAD.

Ok, not dead, but covered in sweat, cold and shaky, sick in an old-timey hitch-up-the-horses-Pa-and-go-for-the-doctor kind of way.  

I am always left feeling extremely humble after a big bout of crud. It’s miserable to be too sick to read, too sick to sleep, too sick to talk – boring, frustrating, uncomfortable. It’s really hard for me to hang on to the good parts of my personality when I’m feverish and sick, and I can’t help but think of the women I know who have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or Lupus, or Fibromyalgia, women who feel like this regularly and yet manage to keep working and to keep a kind demeanor. It’s not like I expect to be Beth March when I’m well, but for some reason when I’m sick I get very disappointed in myself for not radiating lovingkindess or spontaneously spouting Bible verses from my sickbed.

 I also have this bum disc in my neck that likes to pop out of place if I don’t watch my posture and get regular exercise. After two horizontal days my shoulders started to get tight in a familiar, and therefore terrifying, way. Cristian was REALLY excited to listen to me panic uselessly about WHAT WILL I DO IF MY DISC SLIPS, I WILL DIE IF I HAVE TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM FEELING LIKE THIS, DO YOU HEAR ME, I WILL LAY DOWN AND DIE AND I’LL NEVER EVEN HAVE HAD MY OWN WASHING MACHINE.   

 There was no disc slippage, thankfully, but I still can’t turn my head to the left.  Curse you, compounding health conditions.

 How many of you winced when you saw the phrase “cat piss” in the header up there?

Yeah, the cat peed. On the bed. Soaked through the duvet and the sheets to the mattress. Gross, gross, gross. Want to know why it happened?

 Because Cristian deliberately built an obstacle course between the blind cat and her litter-box, thinking he could successfully block the dog from getting near the box without also blocking the cat.

I leave those of you out there who don’t know why a dog would be interested in a cat’s litter-box to your innocence. 

Perhaps if the cat wasn’t blind Cristian’s little scheme would have worked. A blind cat that can’t get to her litter-box, however, will pee on the duvet, and this is indeed a sad thing to discover when you A) are really sick and B) already feel sorry for yourself because you don’t own your own washing machine.

The obstacle course has been dismantled and Motley has resumed pissing in her ordained pissing spot, blessed be, the end.

January 28, 2008

Hit by the Flu Truck

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 3:16 pm

Y’all, I didn’t mean to leave that whiny post up for a whole week, but I got sick. Really sick. More soon.

January 22, 2008

Learning as I Go

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 2:01 pm

So. This morning. Cristian and I did a quick budget outline over breakfast, and in the process realized we’re going to have to wait at least another two weeks before we can buy a washer and a dryer. We’ve been planning on buying one ever since we moved, and I was under the impression that we were thisclose to having the cash on hand to make the purchase. We’re not.

I cried. I cried. Because I felt so sorry for myself. Because we work so hard, because it’s not like I’m asking for a boat, or a fancy car, or expensive clothes, because I’m almost 30 years old and we don’t even have any kids, we should be able to afford a washing machine and a dryer, I should be able to wash my clothes in my own house.

Never mind the fact that I have friends who live less than three blocks away who have happily offered us the use of their washer.

Never mind the fact that it’s only two more weeks to wait.

Never mind the fact that we just bought a fridge, tons of new furniture, painted the inside of an entire house.  

Never mind the fact that I work in a office where I am surrounded by social workers whose full time job is to help people without health insurance find some way, any way, to get the treatment they need. Do I need a more dramatic example of my own good luck?

Yesterday was Dr. Martin Luther King Junior day, and I took the opportunity to pull down  A Testament of Hope and spend some time with it.  It’s easy to forget that towards the end of his life, King was seen as something of a fool. His unwavering stand again the Vietnam war is not part of what we’ve chosen to remember about him. Neither is his anger about materialism.

I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered.

A thing oriented society.

When I’m not crying because I didn’t get the doll snazzy household appliances I wanted, I believe that people are more important than things. That even though material possessions make me very, very happy, this type of happiness is shallow and, when it comes at the cost of other people’s humanity, hard to justify.

I know these issues are complicated. I know I have to make the best decisions I can for the circumstances I was born into. I know I am only one person and that global conditions don’t hinge on the personal decisions I make.

I also know I have everything I need to be happy. And that I can and will be happier the day I am finally able to get over myself, to give up my deep, deep desire for more things, for nicer things, for stuff, stuff, stuff.

January 18, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 2:32 pm

January 17, 2008

Things are good

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 1:16 pm

Love, love is a verb

Love is a doing word

from Teardrop, by Massive Attack. Except that link goes to a Jose Gonzalez cover, because his version is better.


Every night I make rounds through the house. Mundane stuff – let the dog out one last time, let her back in. Close some windows, open others. Lock the doors, check water bowls, set alarms.  And every night I am astonished by how happy I am. The cat purring on the bed is another astonishment – so unplanned it’s as though she dropped from the sky – a phone call from a friend to a neighbor, a phone call back, and here she is.  Ours, sweet and ugly and gentle, halfblind and tiny, seemingly pleased with the current state of affairs.  Days begin with Motley whapping at our heads with her little declawed paw, and then Fluppy is there beside me, breathing hopefully into my face – following the letter, if not the spirit, of our quiet-in-the-morningtime law.  I get up, let the dog out, turn the coffee pot on, and again – visceral, simple, astonishing happiness.  There are high tides and low tides in every life, times when we struggle to gather the pieces we need together, when we struggle to make them all fit. And there are times when it all comes into balance, and life presents itself as a stupefying gift, something that doesn’t need to be wrestled with, organized, controlled.

Things are good.  I’m grateful.



January 16, 2008

Welcome, Motley

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 11:07 am
Who’s Motley, you ask? 
Motley is our newspecial needs Persian Rescue cat.  That’s right. A Special Needs Persian Rescue cat. Needy, fluffy pets are apparently our thing.
Motley was rescued from a breed mill by some animal activists two years ago, where she was used to breed kittens. As a result she is terrified of other cats, and will hide and shake in their presence.  At the mill she was kept constantly in a cage, where her muscles and bones atrophied, so she can’t jump and can barely climb. That wasn’t the only way in which the owners of the mill neglected her health. At some point, Motley developed an eye infection so horrible that her cornea and pupil were destroyed, leaving her right eye a scary, milky blue mess. She remains prone to eye infection, so we must vigilantly clean around her eyes with a q-tip weekly. She is down a few teeth due to dental issues, and her tail is broken in several places.
Would you like to see a picture?

January 11, 2008

Insert Standard Playing With Your Food Joke Here

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 12:52 pm

January 10, 2008

Outing myself as an in-car singer with questionable taste in music

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 10:22 am

Me: Hey! This is Alan Jackson! I know this song!

Cristian: Oh my God, no. No. No. No.

Me:Remember when? I was young, and so were you. And time stood still, and love was all we knew….”

Cristian: Oh my God, you know the words?

Me, with feeling:Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard – We lived and learned, life threw curves – There was joy, there was hurt, Remember when…....” 

Cristian: This is contemporary country. Please. Stop. Please. Please.

Me:  You know, I don’t even know where I learned this song.  “Remember when? The sound of little feet was the music we danced to week to week………”

Cristian: I’m changing the channel.

Me: No! Wait! I know the words! I want to sing!

Radio:L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

Cristian and Dana: The KINKS! 

All Together Now:Well I’m not the worlds most physical guy, but when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine…………”

January 4, 2008

Dance Party Friday

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 2:12 pm

So THAT was a long holiday break.

 Since we last spoke, I unloaded my apartment, yelled at (and scared) a man from behind a dumpster, went to Minnesota, went to a hockey game in the STATE, the STATE of hockey, read a book about Zombie wars, got stuck in the most awkward conversation about religion ever on the plane back from Minnesota (I LIED! LIED ABOUT GOD!  JUST TO SPARE MYSELF AN AWKWARD SOCIAL INTERACTION!) read a book called Foreskin’s Lament, read a book about the world without us, read a book about this crazy guy who followed all these crazy rules for a year, walked the dog a few times, and used every towel I owned, including brand! new! towels, to soak up water leaking uncontrollably from behind my toilet. Meanwhile, Cristian tried to get some laundry done on his way out of town only to be victimized by a nogoodnik laundromat thief. He was then promptly dumped in Chicago for an unscheduled overnight stay thanks to bullshit airline overbooking practices the weather.

 Me: You mean to had to sleep in the airport?!!!

Cristian: Yeah, but it was alright, because the Red Cross was there, with cots and blankets.

(“Alright” would not be my adjective of choice in that situation.)

He’s been in Massachusetts ever since. He comes home………………Sunday? I think?

 But instead of going into all that, I am just going to encourage y’all to click here for a link to the best/worst local newscast ever. Nero fiddles on.

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