Nothing I Can Do About it Now

January 29, 2008

Cat Piss & Congestion!

Filed under: Uncategorized — dregina @ 1:19 pm

So last Tuesday I came home from work feeling, oh, a little run down. I lay down on the couch under my favorite plaid blanket and woke up DEAD.

Ok, not dead, but covered in sweat, cold and shaky, sick in an old-timey hitch-up-the-horses-Pa-and-go-for-the-doctor kind of way.  

I am always left feeling extremely humble after a big bout of crud. It’s miserable to be too sick to read, too sick to sleep, too sick to talk – boring, frustrating, uncomfortable. It’s really hard for me to hang on to the good parts of my personality when I’m feverish and sick, and I can’t help but think of the women I know who have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or Lupus, or Fibromyalgia, women who feel like this regularly and yet manage to keep working and to keep a kind demeanor. It’s not like I expect to be Beth March when I’m well, but for some reason when I’m sick I get very disappointed in myself for not radiating lovingkindess or spontaneously spouting Bible verses from my sickbed.

 I also have this bum disc in my neck that likes to pop out of place if I don’t watch my posture and get regular exercise. After two horizontal days my shoulders started to get tight in a familiar, and therefore terrifying, way. Cristian was REALLY excited to listen to me panic uselessly about WHAT WILL I DO IF MY DISC SLIPS, I WILL DIE IF I HAVE TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM FEELING LIKE THIS, DO YOU HEAR ME, I WILL LAY DOWN AND DIE AND I’LL NEVER EVEN HAVE HAD MY OWN WASHING MACHINE.   

 There was no disc slippage, thankfully, but I still can’t turn my head to the left.  Curse you, compounding health conditions.

 How many of you winced when you saw the phrase “cat piss” in the header up there?

Yeah, the cat peed. On the bed. Soaked through the duvet and the sheets to the mattress. Gross, gross, gross. Want to know why it happened?

 Because Cristian deliberately built an obstacle course between the blind cat and her litter-box, thinking he could successfully block the dog from getting near the box without also blocking the cat.

I leave those of you out there who don’t know why a dog would be interested in a cat’s litter-box to your innocence. 

Perhaps if the cat wasn’t blind Cristian’s little scheme would have worked. A blind cat that can’t get to her litter-box, however, will pee on the duvet, and this is indeed a sad thing to discover when you A) are really sick and B) already feel sorry for yourself because you don’t own your own washing machine.

The obstacle course has been dismantled and Motley has resumed pissing in her ordained pissing spot, blessed be, the end.



  1. Very good: “sick in an old-timey hitch-up-the-horses-Pa-and-go-for-the-doctor kind of way. “

    Comment by Joy — January 29, 2008 @ 2:21 pm

  2. Poor Danar!!! This may be the best description I’ve ever read of just how horrific it is to be sick when you lack the gene for noble suffering. This is EXACTLY how I feel when sick–right down to worrying about the potential for compounding events. In my case, though, it can be a regular old cold.

    P.S. I have been aware of two bed-pissing cats in my almost-62 years: Lenore and Motley. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

    Comment by mmalan — January 30, 2008 @ 11:05 am

  3. I came across your page, and saw that you link to Maria Bamford, who is one of my favorite comics.

    Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for acknowledging those with Fibro and Lupus – it is greatly appreciated.


    Comment by Swiss — July 1, 2008 @ 5:16 pm

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